I Used to Love Shopping at Trader Joe’s

(Lessons Learned

from COVID-19)

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.”  –Pema Chodron

I stand outside in the wind waiting for my turn to enter Trader Joe’s. It’s colder than the forecast predicted and I wish I’d worn a jacket. Gone are the days of quick trips to the store; in and out in ten minutes, taking for granted that what I want is waiting in the store when I need it.

The line for the grocery store stretches down the sidewalk and into the parking lot. Everyone does their best to stand at least six feet apart. Heads are bowed to avoid the wind and each other. Grocery shopping has become a fearful endeavor.

It’s a new shopping experience at Trader Joe’s these days, complete with new rules. Don’t bring your own shopping bags, no one wants to touch them. You can’t buy more than two of anything, people are hoarding. Stay back from the checkout counter until it’s time to insert your credit card. 

It’s a new world we’re living in and we’re all afraid.

Normally I like to shop, even just for groceries. Maybe it’s the gathering instinct built into our human DNA, but I enjoy collecting the fruits, veggies, and staples that will sustain me. I look forward to what I might find and what I’ll create at home later with my discoveries. But now shopping is an anxious, hurried affair in empty stores with bare shelves.

Like the other shoppers, I avoid eye contact and try to keep my distance. I see people avoid me or scoot around me warily. I want to reassure them, but it’s hard to convey a smile when most of your face is covered with a mask.

We’re all afraid of a virus, an invisible boogeyman that could be anywhere or possibly nowhere.

When I make it home with my groceries, I’m still worried. Anxious hand washing followed by wiping down containers and cans is a lengthy process. Disinfecting door handles, then the floor where the grocery bags sat. Did COVID-19 follow me home? Is there anything I forgot to wipe down? I’m careful not to use too many disinfecting wipes since it’s nearly impossible to buy more now. 

It makes me wonder, is the epidemic plaguing us right now a virus or fear? 

The uncertainty and fear of the unseen is unrelenting. Not knowing if life will go back to something resembling normal takes an exhausting toll. The surreal nature of how much life has changed is difficult for me to wrap my head around. And I’m a lucky one—despite the blessings of housing, food, employment, and good health; the fear and anxiety of the unknown never ease their grip.

And then there are moments when I manage to take a deep breathe and pause. In that pause, I remind myself that it’s possible to view this situation in a different light. And if we look closely enough, we might recognize the truths that lie hidden within the struggle:

• All the things we took for granted before COVID-19 upended life as we know it—everything from easy trips to the store, going to the movies, and planning vacations.  
• The attachment with which we cling to our way of life and routines—we think we need life to be a certain way (“our” way) to find peace and equilibrium.
• The impermanence of all things in life—it’s easy to assume that we have plenty of time to live, spend with our loved ones, and accomplish our goals.  
• The need for acceptance of myself and my circumstances—we don’t always have to force ourselves to be a certain way, nor can we always force life into the version we want.
• Compassion for myself and others—everyone is struggling with something and never has that been truer than now.

So how can we use our experience navigating this new landscape, not only preparing for life after COVID-19 but for life right now? Life isn’t on hold, after all. Maybe we can use this experience to inform our intentions and move forward with greater consciousness for the good for all living beings:

• Practicing gratitude for all the blessings, no matter the size or significance. You’ve heard the saying that you never know what you have until you’ve lost it, so let’s appreciate all the gifts we have right now. 
• Recognizing our ability to ride the waves of life and relinquish control over things we never truly controlled in the first place. Relaxing the grip with which we normally cling to life actually feels good and frees up a lot of energy.
• Acknowledging the inherent uncertainty of all things in life helps us stay present. Take the time and attention to savor the good, knowing that it will pass; just as the hard times do.
• Accepting that none of us will always be at our best during this challenging time takes the pressure off us and the people around us. We are all struggling to some degree and holding ourselves and others to unrealistic expectations only adds to the strain. Turning toward one another amidst the struggle can tighten families and communities.  
• Compassion for ourselves and others is the antidote to the struggle. Self-compassion is the starting point for compassion for all living beings and recognizing ourselves in others reminds us that we are all connected.  

Maybe one day life will return to the way things were before COVID-19. Maybe it won’t. But in the meantime, life isn’t on hold. We can choose now to acknowledge the shift and move forward with greater consciousness and compassion.

Years from now, most of us will look back at this time of coronavirus and remember exactly the way life was. It will most likely become a global benchmark in its cultural, economic, and social significance. I’d like to one day look back at this time and remember it as the starting point to a better way of life for all living beings. Who’s with me?